Some days are better than others. This is certainly one of my lessons in my Healing Season. Some days are actually worse than others. It's good to be prepared for both. I took today off work to spend it with my son. We had a big day of Mommy-Son fun planned with just a couple of errands to run. As it turned out, the vast majority of today was spent in the Secretary of States office and the bank. It was time consuming and costly. The women who worked at these stops in our day of fun were rude, condescending, manipulative and I could go on and on and on. Part of what I need to embrace, though, is the truth that I am not in control. I wasn't in control of the tornado that killed my folks. I wasn't in control of my ex-husbands choice to leave me, I wasn't in control of the time table today. I should be and strive to be in control of how I am affected by the external, however.
While I was in line (it took 30 minutes just to get a number) at the Secretary of States, I noted the following impulses:
Resentfulness (How dare they eat up my precious time?)
Impatience (How long will I be here?)
Injustice (I couldn't be this slow on my job)
I was also aware of the fact that I was feeling these things and that my emotions may be out of check with what was actually happening.
I wish I could say that I sat down and focused on my breath and where in my body the sensation was located. I didn't. I didn't blow up or explode. In truth, I didn't ever want to which is a real improvement over "unsaved Shannyn".
Thankfully, my son and I still made it to the movie and had a really neat Mommy-Son get away. Thanks, as well, today is not yet done. I can still reflect and invite healing into this particular aspect of my journey.
Right now my jaw in tight, my shoulders are tight and my breath is shallow.
My stress level feels like a 6 on a scale from 1-10 and that's about where it was at the peek of today's stress. (my husband was late coming home today-like I said, "some days are better than others)
When I pause I will ask the Lord to send His Spirit to give me peace and discernment.
I will invite Him to reveal to me that way to walk in His peace. I will breathe 5 deep breaths into every corner of my lungs.
Now I am at such peace, I could so to sleep. Instead, I'm going to bed to meditate and then sleep.
My stress is at a one.
Thank you, Lord.
Father, when I am in the storms of this life, bring to mind the tools which bring your healing and peace. Remind me to ask to your Spirit, Jesus. Remind me to breathe.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails.