Isn't it funny how sadness and sleepiness sometimes feel like the same thing?
Today I'm not quite sure if I feel sad or sleepy. Maybe a little of each.
I will say this, for sure.
I will add this.
The enemy of my healing, namely Satan, hates that prayer works.
At our church we have a prayer ministry team which comes up to the front of church at the end of each service and is available to pray with anyone who needs or wants it. Truth be told, this really should be everyone, every week. Yet, in our effort to appear as though we have it "all together" most of us just smile and go grab our kids from Sunday school.
Now, my pastor is the one who gave me the recipe of The Healing Season and in review it's this:
Write about it
Get prayer every Sunday after church and every Wednesday at home group.
Would you believe that for the first time maybe ever, there was NO prayer ministry team after church?
I have with the very strongest commitment to follow hard after God's healing in this season and in this way. Yet, when it wasn't ready made and easy for me, I could have turned tail and split.
Instead, I sought out a friend and asked her to pray with me.
Here's a suggestion. Get a prayer partner. Find of friend, a godly friend who is willing to walk through your season with you.
Tell them that this is your healing season.
Ask them to pray with you on agreed upon days.
Walk it out through prayer.
When two or more are gathered, He says He is in our midst.
Let's rely on that and, for lack of a better term, use it to our advantage.
We do have the advantage, after all. We have the victory. Jesus won it for us. He nailed your loss and mine to the cross. He nailed your pain and mine to the cross.
It is over. We just need to see it.
Last night( Wednesday) I was sick and didn't go to home group. That was my other prayer day. Today I took a risk on the Healing Season. I asked my intern, an amazing woman of God named Joy to pray for me. She knows about the Healing Season and was happy to. We held hands and we prayed for my hearts healing and for her healing as well. It was so cool. I felt like the Lord had taken windshield wipers to my heart and just cleared thing up a bit.
I am feeling so much stronger that I was a week and a day ago. I thank God for that. I know that it is because of His grace and mercy and healing power that this is true.
I also know that if I just send up a "thank you card" to the Father, the one who came to kill and destroy me would be happy to send an eviction notice to my peace and so I press on.
This is a journey for a season. My season it Spring. The tornado's arrival in April has stolen 10 peaceful and beautiful Springtime's from my and I stand here at year 11 and declare "Not ONE more! In Jesus name, NO MORE". Maybe you'll pick up The Healing Season for yourself at the first turned leaf and declare that you will once again make peace with Autumn. Maybe when the first flake of snow flies, you will notice the your heart hurt and you are dizzy and say "This is my healing season". Maybe when you start to see sprinklers our in from yards, you will decide to make the childhood memory of running through the spay in the sun and seeing the rainbow it makes pure bliss, again.
This is my journey, but it's your, too. And, as will all things, it belongs to the Lord.
Let's check in with our hearts.
You can take notes for yourself if it will help you heal.
Right now, I feel a little pain in my heart. It is about the size of my heart itself.
There is a little lump in my throat.
I'm going to take three deep breaths and ask the Lord to fill that hurting space with healing.
Now the pain is about the size of a quarter and the lump in my throat is nearly gone.
Thank you, Father.
Jesus, you are the healer. You are with me and I thank you. I thank you from friends to pray with and the strength to admit when I am weak.
Jesus, I desperately need you and always will.
I offer my broken heart to you today and ask you to heal it totally. Restore me and even more than that, re-invent who I am. Make me more like you. Teach me your ways. Show me what it is like to bare all things. Project me from anything that stands in the way of my total healing and forgiveness.
If there is some part of me that wants to hang on to my hurt, expose that part and drive it as far from me as the east is from the west.
Thank you for your grace and goodness. Help me to see it today and always.
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”- Romans 15:13