This past Saturday was the Vernal Equinox-the first day of Spring.
I have to just give a praise report because I honestly say that for three days I feel whole and restored. I am scanning my body for residue of my heart break and at the moment I assure you that it is not there.
This is a victory for the Lord and for those who have been praying for me in this journey. To you and to the Father I said, "THANK YOU!!!"
This is the freest I've felt in a decade and I am savoring it like a delectable piece of chocolate or a perfect sunset or the smell of a newborn baby. I feel new.
Saturday night into Sunday morning I had a vivid dream. It was all back-bending and eggs. It was me doing a million different kinds of back bends-standing back bends, drop-back back bends, inverted back bend. They were all deeply heart opening back bends and they were all dripping like wax or honey and beautiful. The eggs in the dream varied as well. There were pain 'ol carton of eggs eggs, kid colored Easter eggs in bright colors, pearl eggs and gold eggs and Fabroget eggs.
The next day I went back to the yoga workshop and guess what we did. You guessed it. Back bends. In fact, we did 3 hours of deep deep back bends. I (with the help of my new friend Pastor Andre) was able to find back bends that I never would have believed I would achieve in my life let alone this weekend. It was utterly amazing and deeply life-changing. At one point I, our teacher, asked us to kick up into a handstand, then melt our hearts and soften. The next step was to begin to slowing bend our legs down and toward our back, our head and eventually toward the floor to move from a handstand into a back bend. Pastor Andre was helping me stay stable. At one point I panicked. I said "I want to come down" Pastor Andre said "I've got you. I won't let you fall, I promise. Just keep looking forward. Keep looking forward."
This is a lesson I want to take with me in my Healing Season. Keep looking forward. I can hear the Lord saying "I've got you. I won't let you fall." I know I can trust Him. I know it. He will not leave me or forsake me. I thank Him for his steady hand to guide me. Thank you, Father.
I can say right now that I could actually say "Thank you, Father. You have healed me." Because this is the first 3 days (heck it's the first one day) I've had without a constant ache of brokenness. I am free and he who the Son sets free is (say it with me now) Free INDEED!
Now my dream had back bends AND Easter eggs. I think that the Lord was reminding me of the Resurrection. He was saying the on the other side of death in LIFE. What an amazing gift.
Now I have to remember what happened when I was on my yoga mat and I was upside down and backward and feeking out. I have to remember that LIFE will sometimes take me upside down and backward and in those times, I can take my yoga OFF my mat and remember what Pastor Andre said "Just keep looking forward."
Now remember-the recipe layed out by my pastor for the Healing Season is 1. Write 2. Get Prayer and home group on Wednesday. 3. Get prayer at church on Sunday.
I'm following this recipe until Mother's Day. That's the deal. Pastor Andre prayed for me on Sunday, right there in the middle of the yoga class we just dropped and prayed. I really think that we have to be willing to do that for each other and with each other. I way to put out a spiritual fire isn't stop, drop and roll, it's stop, drop and PRAY.
So, to that end...although this Healing Season is already bearing delicious juice fruit...I keep looking forward. The first day of Spring was Saturday. Saturday my heart is free. Thanks be to the Father, the Son and His Holy Spirit. Thanks be to his body of believers who support me in prayer when I'm trying to find my place. Thank you for keeping your hand on me and saying "I've got you, I won't let you fall." I'm humbled and so very grateful.
Lord, thank you for the healing the you are sending me. You amaze me. God I pray that what you are doing takes deep roots in me. I pray that it becomes a well established reality of who I am now. I pray that this healed heart is even more open and more sensitive. I pray that you will allow me to be more compassionate to everyone around me so that I can be a help-mate to them in your name. Father, open up the floodgates of your goodness and your healing power on my heart and mind. Where there is still brokenness or wrong thinking, I pray the you would reveal it to me and walk me through it to the other side. God you are great and mighty. Thank you for what you have done and for what you continue to do. In Jesus name, I pray.
And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.