Monday, March 15, 2010
The Healing Season
Today is a good day-which is a joy and a blessing. Nothing remarkable has happened to make me say "Today is a good day." It's cloudy and a little cool. It's dreary and it feels a little "tornado-ish" out there and yet I have peace today and for that I am grateful.
Since it IS a good day-I'm going to check in for a moment and see what a good day feels like in my healing spirit.
Right now the sadness is nearly undetectable. It's as big as a few grains of sand in my heart. I do-if I'm being honest, have a bit of a lump in my throat (about the size of a dime and a sadness in the pit of my stomach about the size of a quarter.)
I could easily say "Oh well, that's great. I just will live like this" and it's sure A LOT better that what bad days look like. I'm committed to the truth that Jesus can and wishes to bring complete and total healing and restoration in my heart and in my life. Sometimes we have the blessing of seeing that happen in an instant. In fact, when I started following Jesus, I did so because he was the most amazing healer that I had every heard of.
I read the Gospel of John and made a decision to follow Jesus based just on what I read there. I hadn't had a big "salvation" experience. It was a logical choice based on Jesus believe the most amazing man I'd ever read about. Just in John H turns water to wine, He heals the Officials son, He heals the man at the pool , He feeds five thousand people with a few loves and fishes ends up with 12 baskets of left overs, He walks on water, He heals the blind man, He raises Lazarus from the DEAD, He predicts His betrayal, He says that our sorrow will turn to joy and after peacefully turning His will over to the Fathers on the cross He is RESURRECTED FROM THE DEAD! Then John says "Now there were also many other things that Jesus did. Were every one of them to be written, I suppose that the world itself could not contain the books that would be written." (John 21:25)
Do I believe that Jesus can totally heal me? Heck YES, I do. I believe He can heal me and you and absolutely everything.
Remember Colossians 1:20 Jesus came to reconcile ALL things to the Father. That's my loss and yours. That's my pain and yours. That's ALL things. Blessed be the name of the Lord.
When I lost my parents, I was a single mom. For years, I would wake up, get me and my little lady ready for the day, drop her off at school, go to work, pick her up, feed us dinner, put on the t.v. and sit on the couch and cry. I cried and cried until I was actually afraid that I may always cry.
It was then that I invited my little girl onto my lap. I said something like "Sweetheart, I need you to know that I'm okay. I promise, I'm okay. I'm just very sad because I miss my mom and dad." "I know, Mama," she said.
"I also need you to know that I might always be this way. I don't want to be worried. I love you."
Here's some good news. I don't cry much anymore. I have moments when I just fall apart, for sure. That's part of why I'm in the journey of the Healing Season. I don't want to fall apart anymore. I want to bury my grief. I was IT to rest in piece.
So-that said. Be encouraged. Jesus is working in me and in YOU. He IS the healer and we are in excellent hands.
Father, I put my trust in you. Thank you for bringing me this far in my healing. Lord, I believe that with you ALL things are possible. The believe that you can restore me, my heart and the heart of those who have been wounded by my brokenness. Lord, where I have injured other people, I pray that you would show me and teach me the way of restoration in those relationships. In week moments, help me to seek you more than any other thing. Be near to my Lord and be my strength and my hope. When I am having dark days, bring to mind the memory of how far we have come and the joy that is mine. Thank you that my joy in not contingent on the things of this word, but in a relationship with you, the living God.
I love you and I thank you today.
He restores my soul.